When you are wedding planning, there is an underlying set of expectations projected on you. First, people tactlessly ask you if you are going to loose weight for the wedding (regardless of whatever your weight actually is, this question is inevitable).
Secondly, people assume that you are stressing out over the planning and that it must be so strenuous that you often pull your out hair, frequently burst into tears, and even suffer from violent mood swings during this phase.
To this first expectation, I strongly recommend eating for the duration of your engagement and continuing this habit long into marriage. In regards to this second assumption, I strongly disagree.
Of course, any person can start to worry about what dress to wear, which flowers would look best, how to create the most Pinterest-worthy reception imaginable, but in the end, it is just one day.
But somewhere in our Disney Princess-loving childhoods, we were whispered a lie. Somewhere in the magazine isle, we were deceived. We were taught that this day is “Your Big Day.”
As females, we romanticize and glorify the One Day when we wear all white and walk toward Prince Charming into a land of happily ever after. It will be magical, and the bride will glow (possibly even float), and the groom will beam.
Parents will tearfully consent and exuberantly approve. Laughter. Dancing. Singing. Celebrating-all rolled into one day to be cherished and photographed for the future grandchildren with Michael Buble singing in the background.
Of course planning that wedding would be stressful. It is the expectations that you place on yourself, your fiancé, and your family during the wedding planning period that makes the experience stressful.
It is silly to expect to look like a Vogue model with a 14-inch waist. It is crazy to expect your fiancé to have dreamed about the ceremony since he was playing with Legos and have a developed idea of the wedding tone a year in advance. It is absurd to expect for your mom to be on the same page about everything.
Is this whole wedding a big self-glorifying show or it is a celebration of God’s graciousness? “Your Big Day” should really be “His Big Day.” If you are going into this whole “your life” and “my life” are now eternally “our life” thing, a healthy engagement and wedding planning should reflect that.
If you believe that marriage is primarily about you and your soon-to-be spouse and engagement is about planning the wedding, you are wrong.
None of it is about you, and consequentially, this blessed refocus enables planning a wedding to be not as big a deal as you might think because it is not about you. The wedding dress, the Save-the-Dates, and the cake topper are not about you.
No matter how much you are bombarded with commercialism and with entitlement, it is not about you. It is about how crazy beautiful our God is.
It is about how you, someone completely undesirable, has been desired by a loving Father. He has given you a good gift: the commitment to love another human. And you are going to do taxes with him. And that is exciting.
– Mallory Hudson, Opinions Editor